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Steve Roberts also publishes self-improvement articles at his local blog: Colorado Springs Counselor, mental health articles another of his local blogs: Colorado Springs Counseling, and marriage articles at Colorado Springs Marriage Counseling.

"Relationship Advice: 

Is Your Marriage on Auto-Pilot?"

 - by Steve Roberts

© Steve Roberts - All Rights reserved
Ah...remember that honeymoon phase when you first fell in love? You may have even been in the lust and infatuation stage before you even realized you were in love.

You felt giddy, smitten, and were walking on air. Your heart went pitter patter and your breath was shallow whenever you were around your honeypie. You were busy with work and responsibilities, but you would always catch up later. At this phase you wanted to spend all your waking hours with your sweetheart.

But then came love, then came marriage, then came Junior in the baby carriage. Suddenly, there are bills to pay; places to go, repairs to do and you’re just tired all the time. You relent with a sigh, “so this is marriage?!”

Whether you’ve been married 12 months or 12 years, it doesn’t have to mean the honeymoon is over. Think back to the effort you made initially when you were wooing your partner. You get what you give. If you give a humdrum effort day in and day out, that’s what you’ll get in return. If you give romance and spark, guess what? You’ll get the same in return?

Forgot how to do that? No worries. Here are ten suggestions to help jump start your hibernating marriage.

1. Drop off a cup of coffee and an apple to your spouse at work. Don’t stay; just say you appreciate the hard work and thought he/she might be ready for a break.

2. Place a note in the sole of his/her shoes “You’re my heart and sole.”

3. When your spouse gets home from work have a picnic all prepared – in the bedroom. Picnic blanket spread across the bed, beverage of choice, shrimp, strawberries, bread. If the kids are around, have a pizza waiting for them and tell them that the parents need some time to discuss some things.

4. If you live in a winter climate, take your wife’s/husband’s clothes (assuming it’s not a suit or dress) and put them in the dryer first thing in the morning. Getting dressed into warm snuggly clothes in the dead of winter is a real treat.

5. Leave a love note in the purse or briefcase.

6. Participate in one of your spouse’s activities that you’d rather not. Go fishing with him, go to a play with her, walk the golf course with him, take her shopping – just try it. Even if it’s not the time of your life, the fact that you wanted to do something he/she enjoys will speak volumes.

7. Go for a walk and be sure to hold hands!

8. Have some sexy pictures taken of you. Even if you use your own digital camera in your spouse’s favorite outfit (or lack of one!) Most cameras are equipped with self timers. Leave a picture in the lunch box or have it waiting in the car with a note “meet me for lunch at noon at xxx.”

9. Switch chores. If you don’t normally take out the trash, do it this week. If it’s usually her job to do laundry, just do a load.

10. Compliment your spouse often. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it, but there is always something positive you can say. Whether, “I appreciate you working hard every day for us,” or, “That dinner was fantastic,” or, “That outfit makes you look really hot.” Whatever – so long as you’re sincere and you keep them coming!

Hopefully this has given you a start. Please give it some thought. Your random acts of kindness need not be time consuming nor expensive. Just remember, a little goes a long, long way!

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Who is Steve Roberts?
Steve Roberts, "The Couples Guy,"  is an experienced Marriage and Family Therapist who shares tips and real life relationship secrets from over 20 years of practice.

For the past 14 years he has been the Director of Counseling for Centered Life (previously named: Samaritan Counseling & Education Center)
in Colorado Springs, CO.

Married 31 years to Pam, his
partner in life and profession, he has personally known the peaks and valleys of the couple experience.

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